About Me

Twenty years ago I asked a Tarot card reader what would I be doing when I was 50. She replied, “I see you doing something so wildly creative, it defies a job title.” Only recently did I realize that was a slick way of saying, “I have no idea of what you’ll be doing.” But that prediction kept me charging ahead to the fifties with zeal and anticipation. Now that the future is today, I’m ready for anything!

Who Me? A Versatile Blogger?

Suerae Stein of red barn artworks says yes. And for that I say thank you! "Versatile" is a much nicer way of describing the randomly meandering topics found in this blog.

Whenever Suerae has a new post at the artful blogger, I'm there. Seeing which playful and creative images she has rounded up for the day is a great way to start my morning.

Anyone receiving the Versatile Blogger Award is asked to pay it forward by doing this:

  • Thank the person who gave you the award and link back to them in your post.
  • Tell your readers seven things about yourself.
  • Give this award to fifteen recently discovered bloggers. 
  • Contact those bloggers to tell them the news.


    First, the seven things about myself:
    • I'm an INFP.
    • I had a letter to the editor printed in Sports Illustrated in 1971.
    • I enjoy rewriting the lyrics to popular songs for different occasions. I once recast the words of “To Sir with Love” into “Thank You Chef Wayne” for a departing chef at work who enjoyed oldies -- and sang it.
    • I love seventies music.
    • I have more relatives in Slovakia than I do in the United States.
    • I cry at movies. 
    • One of my favorite children's books is 365 Bedtime Stories.


    Next, the 15 blogs I chose:

    I chose these blogs for their day-to-day variety, their voices of authenticity, their power to make me say "I didn't know that" or "I learned something today." Thank you again to Suerae Stein and to all readers of Poultry & Prose.

    Not an End, but a New Beginning

    I'll be away from the blog for a few days as we load up the van, move, unload the van, and get settled in. Moving feels right. We're looking forward to whatever lies ahead with hope and humor. So the goal posts have been moved on the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. It'll be an adventure getting there.

    To all who have enjoyed reading about my critters, quirks and quandaries, thank you -- I'll be back soon!

    A Teacher Supplies the Answer
    to the School Supplies Question


    Flickr photo: Rebeca Falcó
    Paula Lee Bright left a thoughtful and thought-filled comment in response to my school supplies meltdown yesterday. I'm sharing Paula's response here to give readers an idea of how the right (or wrong) supplies impact teaching and learning time.

    Paula is a reading teacher who tutors online, and her chatty response (I formatted in red) will give you an idea of her teaching style. 

    Flickr photo: Johan AP
    "Picture 36 3-topic notebooks (if he's in grade school) Picture 150 if he's in junior high or high school! Picture the teacher wanting to respond to the kids' journals, but not their reading logs, social studies notes, or a variety of other types of writing teachers use. (Writing is BIG in evaluations and testing these days, as it should be!)

    "Picture the teacher needing to take them home, because there isn't nearly enough time to work on them at school. Picture her carrying them! Picture several trips to the car. Picture your child at home with social studies homework, but the journals were turned in that day at school, in the 3-topic notebook. Oops! ;D

    "I hope that gives you an idea! How well I understand your dislike for it, but sometimes teachers have their own reasons for certain supplies. If a child's notebook doesn't "fit" the work, it's more work for ole teach. Same with lots of other supplies. If the art project uses crayons but your child has markers, it causes eruptions in the classroom from the kids who don't have markers. Or vice versa! Kids love to grouch about what they don't have. Kind of like grownups, right? ;)

    "Why take the time? Too much learning time wasted. I know it sounds like tiny things, but when you multiply it with all the other kids in the equation—the details matter."

    If your child could use a boost in reading -- a skill that affects all subjects in school -- consider signing up for Paula's newsletter. You'll find tips, articles, and even an occasional discounted or free lesson. 


    Related Posts:
    School Supplies Stress Syndrome Sets In
    Online 101: What I've Learned about e-Learning
    A Confectionery Conundrum

    School Supplies Stress Syndrome Sets In

    It happens every late summer.

    You get the list of supplies for your child's new school grade. You put it off as long as you can, not wanting to wade into the throng of parents. Finally, realizing you can't put it off any longer, lest the store will be stocking Halloween merchandise, you dive in.

    Peace signs are girly, I'm told. Flickr photo, hartsdelights
    Feeling lucky that I have one student to buy for, and not two or three or four or more, I gamely try to help. "What about this one?" I asked my 14-year-old son Wyatt, showing him a notebook with peace symbols on the cover.

    "The peace sign has been co-opted by girls," he said.

    Maybe that's why peace eludes the men who are in power.

    Ready, Set, Shop
    This year it took two trips, one with Wyatt and one without, to acquire everything. My solo excursion took just under an hour. I kept one eye out for the supplies on my list, one eye on the time as I had to meet Wyatt in town, and one eye on my barge of a shopping cart. I was reluctant to leave the cart unattended, for fear the merchandise would be returned by a sales associate or mistakenly spirited away by another customer. And I did not want to start from square one.


    Really, I get it. Schools are getting their budgets whacked, so they're passing expenses onto the parents. But sometimes I feel the need to test what they request. Wouldn't a three-subject notebook work just as well as three one-subject notebooks? Students would be able to carry one book instead of switching out different ones. Or is there a reason someone requested three one-subject notebooks?

    If you've ever had your cubicle set up by someone who doesn't share your brain type or organizational style, you'll understand the reluctance to slavishly follow a school supplies list that someone else created. It may work for the person who created it, but not necessarily for your student. I realize the organizational system has to work for the student, not for the parent. But considering the number of papers that get misplaced, some parental intervention is necessary.

    Don't Have a Meltdown Over School Supplies
    Perhaps School Supplies Stress Syndrome has taken hold of me because crayons are no longer on the list. But really, you're never too old for crayons.  Supermarket Spa author Joey Green suggests keeping a box of crayons for their aromatherapeutic benefits, and for the stress relief that coloring offers.

    Suerae Stein wrote an absolutely delightful post on her blog over at RedBarn Artworks. She doesn't write about school supplies per se, but about crayons. Suerae collected images from all over the Internet, including this melting rainbow image from etsy.com. You can't not smile when holding a crayon or even thinking about them.

    To all parents who are faced with School Supplies Stress Syndrome:
    This too will pass.

    Peace.

    The Story of a Little Goat with
    a Black Coat and a White Spot

    We're taking an elite crew of three goats with us when we move. Over the years we've stopped breeding goats because we realize we're not farmers. Real farmers don't say, "We can't get rid of the bottle babies. They're bottle babies." Or, "We can't split them apart. They're a family." Or, "We have to keep the littlest ones. They need us."

    So we're taking three goats: Cupcake the bottle baby, Molly the runt, and our first goat ever, Molly's mother Baby Girl.

    These photos from several years ago depict how Cupcake became a bottle baby.


    Our dairy goat, Buttercup, had only thrown (or given birth to)
    single kids with white coats.



    Like Bluebonnet, who had been thrown the spring before.




    The next spring Buttercup threw two kids, one with a white coat
    and a smaller one with a black coat.


    To Twinkie: "You may enter." To Cupcake: "Not so fast." 



    Cupcake is busted!


    We could keep the subterfuge up only for so long. Mike brought Cupcake into the house, where we bottle fed her for three weeks. Her hooves clickety-clacking on the wooden stairs earned her the nickname "Cupcake the Tap-Dancing Goat."


    We call her Cupcake because of her black coat and the white spot in the middle of her belly: just where the cream filling of a Hostess Cupcake would be.




    Today, she's a happy and healthy outdoor goat
    but is a housegoat at heart.


    Related Posts:

    The Tao of Town Laundry

    The laundromat is a place that most of us stop patronizing once we graduate from college. In rural areas, it's the place you go for town laundry. Town laundry is the wash you do in town with city water. If you don't have a water filtration system for your well water, and have heavy iron content in the soil, your laundry will slowly but surely turn reddish-beige. After a hard rain, iron is loosened in the soil and a slug of red water will shoot into your washing machine. Usually, it happens when you're taking the chance of washing your favorite town garment just this once at home because you just have to wear it Monday.

    Living near the best thrift store in northern Pine County, I can easily replace many items once they get rusty. But some items are irreplaceable. Like my yellow-gray op-art dress I call my That Girl dress. That dress is town laundry. So are my son Wyatt's Aéropostale jeans, though to my way of thinking he could get a pair just as ripped up at the thrift store for much less.

    Fluff, Fold, and Reflect
    Doing town laundry at the laundromat is a liberating experience because there are no household distractions that pull you away from what you're doing. All you do is fluff, fold, and reflect. There's something about performing simple manual tasks that unleashes deep and free thought.

    What's going on in a small town?
    Start at the laundromat bulletin board.
    Each town laundromat has a different atmosphere. The Sandstone laundromat bulletin board messages cut closest to the bone. ("I need work to feed my family.") The Sturgeon Lake laundromat has the best dryers. And the Moose Lake laundromat has the most eclectic reading selection. Often a laundromat is limited to magazines about crafting and country living. In the Moose Lake laundromat, stacks of magazines I've found include Time, National Geographic, Outdoor Life, and most recently, Lavender.

    Moose Lake is a lovely little town of just under 3,000 in Carlton County. If you live in town you're just blocks away from a lake, a library, the K-12 school, a coffee shop with wi-fi, a 1919 movie theater, and a yoga studio. Plus, the houses are as eclectic as the laundromat magazines. You'll find a tidy bungalow next to a sprawling Dutch Colonial next to a museum that was once a church.

    I heard a commercial for the DQ next door.
    A Casual Connectivity
    The Moose Lake oldies FM station is always playing at the laundromat. Today I heard my husband Mike's old boss, WMOZ news director Jake Kachinske, read a commercial for the Dairy Queen that's next door to the laundromat. It was a casual, goes-without-saying connectivity that made perfect sense, but made me marvel when I thought about it.

    In the morning, the laundromat bustles, meaning three or four people are doing their laundry. At night, while I'm on chauffeur duty waiting for Wyatt, I'm usually alone, swaying to a Commodores tune from the seventies and not afraid to belt it out:

    I wanna be hiiiiigh, so hiiiigh,
    I wanna be free to knowww the things I do are riiiiiight...

    It's hard not to channel your inner Lionel Richie when you hear those lyrics.

    All Is Right in the World
    So when I leave the laundromat, all is right in the world. The town laundry is clean and folded. I'm well read. I'm just in time to pick up Wyatt. And there's usually enough change left for a treat at the Dairy Queen. At home, when I do laundry, I'm interrupted by the phone, by TVs blaring, by the clanking of cubes in the ice maker, by the kitchen counter that begs to be cleaned. But when I'm doing town laundry at the laundromat, I'm free. And I know that the things I do are right.


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    Black Friday at the Bruno Thrift Store

    Ask the First Kids on the School Bus
    About the Need for Rural Broadband

    I got the school calendar and fall community education calendar from the East Central School District in the mail the other day. Always interested in lengths of bus rides, I checked the times that the first kids on the route board the bus. The earliest was 6:05. The latest boarding time (on a different bus) was 8:04. Assuming breakfast starts at 8:10 and classes begin at 8:30, the first kid on the bus has been riding for over two hours.

    I've heard that a lot of students in the East Central School District are homeschooled. I can understand why. When I take my dog Jerry for a swim in a Park Township creek, I pass a school bus stop sign on a gravelly ribbon of hilly road. I can't help but wonder how long of a bus ride that student has. Imagine the driveway in the wintertime and you'll think of that old Volkswagen commercial: "How does the man who drives the snowplow get to the snowplow?" (Considered one of the 100 all-time greatest commercials, the Doyle Dane Bernbach spot appears below.)

    East Central isn't an exception, but an example of what rural school districts in Minnesota face. When traveling to the end of the driveway is an ordeal, and when school budgets are downsized and shifted, rural broadband isn't an option -- it's essential.

    Related Posts:
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    Online 101: What I've Learned about e-Learning



    Commercial from nishiot's youtube channel.



    Oh, Mercy! Part Two of a Story
    About an Amazing Chicken


    Author's Note: This story from several years ago is about a chicken hen who became caretaker to a flock of guinea chicks, or keets, during a summer when foxes were rampant. Part One ended with a fox sighting, Mercy with tailfeathers missing rounding up keets, and the guinea hen gone.

    Mike grabbed a small plastic bucket and gathered up what keets he could find. He counted nine. Mike brought the bucket into the house, and by that time I arrived home with our son Wyatt. As Mike filled me in on what happened, we heard still more keets, their alarmed cheeping in the tall grass sounding like frog peepers.

    Mercy continued to collect babies. I grabbed a cooler and put in a layer of bedding, a feeder, and a waterer. The keets from inside the house went into the cooler. So did the keets that Mercy was collecting. There were fifteen in all.

    Finally, there was only one keet cheeping out in the grass. Both Mike and I tried to grab it but it seemed to vanish into thin air. We decided to get the cooler from inside the house and bring it back outside, hoping the sound of the keet’s brothers and sisters would lure it in.

    But there was a problem. While we looked for the last keet, the babies in the cooler would be sitting targets for the fox. So Mike laid a screen on top of the cooler. He laid a small flatbed trailer on one half of the screen, providing security and also allowing ventilation. Then he stacked three spare tires on top of the trailer. If you wait long enough, there will be a use for that junk you have lying around in the yard.

    A Fox and a Ph.D.
    “Will that keep the fox out?” I asked skeptically.

    “Ohyeah,” Mike assured me. “That fox would need a Ph.D. to figure out how to get in.”

    “He does have a Ph.D.,” I said dryly. “A Poultry Heisting Degree.”

    By this time, Mike had to leave for a mowing job. Three times I tried to catch the keet, three times it eluded me, three times Mercy herded it back, stopping only once for a quick bite of corn. (I imagine she was getting worn out.) The best I could do was keep the fox away.

    When Mike got home, he tried a different tack. Rather than trying to capture the keet,  he set his sights on Mercy. It was fairly easy to net her, and deposit her into an old dog crate. Within moments the keet ventured out in search of its surrogate mother. Seeing her in the crate, the keet slipped in between the bars to join her. Hearing Mike’s triumphant “GOT IT!”— by this time I could barely stand the suspense—I knew the mission was accomplished.

    Now, the only thing left to do was unite “mother” and babies. Mike, Wyatt, and I deposited the keets one by one from the cooler into their new home, an empty rabbit hutch. Last came Mercy. As we closed the hutch lid, the keets’ alarmed cheeping turned immediately to contented peeping. Even without her tailfeathers, Mercy was able to cover all 16 babies. since the closest guesstimate of keets had been 18, the fox had only captured one—and perhaps none at all.

    A Champion Among Chickens
    Thinking of The Widow, who had lost her life after hatching a huge clutch against huge odds, I knew I would feel more kindly toward guineas. And I was especially grateful for Mercy. So many chickens of ours have abandoned their chicks, or lost them, or continued to sit on nests of eggs that had gone bad weeks before. Mercy was worthy of a solid gold nesting box.

    On our little five-acre farm, it doesn't take much to create an afternoon of high drama. But then, it doesn’t take much to create a moment of sheer joy. Thanks to Mercy.


    Related Posts:

    Oh, Mercy! Part One of a Story
    About an Amazing Chicken


    Author's note: This story was written several years ago about a chicken we owned several years before that. She's still the yardstick by which we measure poultry. Today is Part One of the two-part story.

    I love chickens, but am less enchanted with guineas. Mike likes them because they eat the worms that destroy apples. Guineas, or at least the adults, are too aggressive for my liking. Last summer I tried to return a baby, or keet, that had lost track of its flockmates and mother. My reward: a sharp peck on the hand.

    This year, as the summer waned, Mike and I noticed fewer and fewer roosters crowing. It wasn’t something you noticed from day to day. But by August, the inside of the chicken coop looked like a ghost town, young ducks turned up missing, and the yard grew eerily silent One morning, our miniature horse, Macy, charged across the pasture, chasing a streak of red fur.

    A fox.

    Our poultry had always been free range. But sadly, we realized it was kinder to pen them instead of leaving them unprotected. So Mike constructed a chicken run between our chicken coop and Poultry Towers: a high-rise poultry roost made from the old Kerrick School monkey bars, wrapped with chicken wire and topped with a tarp.

    The War Against the Foxes
    It was during the War against the Foxes that a guinea hen rose to prominence on our farm, along with one amazing chicken hen, resulting in an afternoon of high drama.

    We purchased a pair of guineas at the Sturgeon Lake chicken swap in hopes they would breed some nice gentle keets. The rooster eventually had to be dispatched because he had killed a couple of ducklings. But he had served his purpose: the hen had laid a sizeable clutch of eggs, and began sitting shortly after her mate’s demise. The hen, who we simply called The Widow, chose a corner in an empty stall in the barn, just off the main aisleway. There was a little red chicken hen nearby, bigger than a bantam but not a large bird by any means. Perching on her roost, she called to mind a bellhop waiting to be pressed into service.

    In July we rented the services of a miniature donkey, Little Joe, to breed with Macy. The aisleway in the barn was their preferred place to rendezvous. At one point Little Joe stepped right in the middle of The Widow’s nest. She escaped, barely missing being squashed. With wings flapping, she chased the donkey, the horse, and all three goats out of the barn, finishing with a loud chatter that was probably guinea language for “AND STAY OUT!”

    An Angel of Mercy
    It was a miracle that any eggs hatched at all. But hatch they did. First I saw three keets. Then seven. Then – oh, there must have been a dozen and a half. That many little puffballs won’t stay still long enough for you to count them. The widow did her best to herd them. But keeping an eye on so many babies was hard for one hen to do. Remarkably, the little red hen stepped up. She helped herd the keets, directing them with gentle clucks. She spread out her tailfeathers like a fan to hide the babies from nosy onlookers. She gathered them under her feathers. She even helped clean up the eggshells, which are a source of protein for poultry. I started calling her Mercy, as an angel of mercy, or perhaps a New England midwife.

    After three days, The Widow led her babies out of the stall and outdoors. With all the barn traffic, it was inevitable that one should be trampled. But after the loss of that one unfortunate keet, the others became quite adept at avoiding the equines and goats. With Mercy bringing up the back, mother and babies disappeared into the tall grass, as guineas are wont to do. We knew the keets would be in good hands.

    A few days later, while I was running errands and Mike was out doing chores, he heard a peeping and found a lone keet. He gathered it up and placed it by Mercy, since The Widow wasn’t around. Then he noticed Mercy was rounding up additional keets. Her tailfeathers were missing. And The Widow was nowhere in sight, the last sign of her being an agitated squawk a few minutes before.

    The fox had struck again.


    To be continued...

    What Edith Bunker Can Teach Me
    about Satellite Broadband


    The first minute of the following All in the Family episode contains one of my favorite Edith Bunker "dingbat" moments. In a story that takes place during the 1974 energy crisis, Edith takes energy conservation to endearing ridiculousness. I'd do well to exercise Edith's prudence once our broadband satellite service begins.




    I never dreamed that I'd open a browser window and not have endless bandwidth pour forth. With satellite broadband, you have a fixed allowance of uploads, downloads, and bandwidth. The allowance can be easily depleted unless you budget wisely. So every page opened, every browser refreshed, every event streamed and every attachment downloaded will have to be purposeful and economical.

    We currently pay Frontier just over $150 a month for DSL, a landline and satellite TV. We want to stick as close as possible to that figure for satellite broadband, satellite TV and our cell phones. (I've long advocated for losing the TV, but that would be like asking Archie Bunker to give up his chair.)

    For those reasons, our out-of-range location, and because so many other preparations are involved with moving, broadband satellite is our best choice for now. It's not an ideal situation, but it's not the end of the world. Edith's coping abilities and good cheer will serve me well.

    Thank you to Mynjunkyard for directing me to this classic All in the Family episode on YouTube. Edith Bunker's energy conservation moment occurs in the first minute, but you'll want to watch the entire episode.

    Unless you have satellite broadband. Then shut that window immediately!


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    Rural Broadband Access for 55927? Don't Bet the Farm.

    The Rural Broadband Bermuda Triangle

    This map from Jaguar Communications (Owatonna, MN) illustrates the "Broadband Bermuda Triangle" that we'll be in. Look in the section that's bordered on top by the four blue circles (representing wireless internet), on the left by the big green squiggle (serviceable fiber), and on the right by the small yellow blob (DSL and telephone). We're right in the middle of the middle section. Maybe in time DSL or Wi-Fi will be extended. But for now, it is what it is.


    Matt Larsen at WirelessCowboys.com wrote an evocative post and picture essay about the possibilities of rural broadband. Check it out!

    Rural Broadband Access
    for 55927? Don't Bet the Farm.

    I'm having trouble remembering my new address. It's less of an address than it is a confirmation number: the house number an unrelated string of digits, the street name another string of digits without a directional. I keep wanting to add a North or South or Northwest that isn't there.

    But one thing is permanently burned onto my hard drive. 
    The zip code. 55927. 55927. 55927.

    Picasa photo: roderick_clark
    In looking for rural broadband service, I've entered my new zip code into the search engine of one Internet service provider after another: Qwest. Comcast. Frontier. Mediacom. CenturyLink. None provide broadband service to zip code 55927. I've felt like a gambling addict in Vegas, feeding quarter after quarter into a slot machine and fervently hoping I hit the jackpot with the next coin.

    It's hard to believe that here in Bruno, a town of 102, we've had unlimited broadband access while  roughly 20 miles from the Mayo Clinic, broadband is scarce. Our new digs are outside of the Dodge Center city limits, falling smack dab in the middle of a triangle formed by the cities of West Concord, Dodge Center, and Claremont. It's a Bermuda Triangle of sorts for rural broadband.

    Frontier expanded its broadband service to Bruno customers about four years ago, and I can't remember what life was like without it. Things may change in time. Perhaps Frontier will expand its frontiers. For now, our choices for rural broadband are HughesNet and WildBlue. Do you have service through either of those providers, or have stories about rural broadband in general? Would we love it if you shared your stories? You bet!

    A Place Where Ideas Can Grow

    Mike and his dad are finishing assembling my studio. It was the first thing on his list, even before the kitchen and bathroom renovation. It’s as important to Mike as it is to me that I have alone time. I don’t take it personally. I can be hard to live with when I'm writing.


    He has thoughtfully planned it and located it, under a tree which I call the Whomping Willow, on the north side of the house so I won’t bake in the sun.

    I love this idea from The Artful Blogger by Suerae Stein at Red Barn Artworks because I’m always looking for storage ideas that make sense to me. 

    A pre-fab garden shed is all it is, but it's my studio, my alone place, and it's mine, mine, mine. 



    Only in the Country Can This Happen

    You run out of cooking fuel while you're baking muffins.

    The solution: Put half-baked muffins in the microwave, five at a time, for two minutes on high. If you don't have a microwave muffin pan -- and who among us does -- a regular plate will do. Then let cool for 10 minutes. The muffin bottoms came out hard like a pie crust, so the resulting blueberry-raspberry muffins taste like blueberry-raspberry Pop-Tarts. Good, but not aligned with the common muffin experience.

    Or better yet, go buy a muffin at the coffee shop. And enjoy the weekend!

    Edited because spell check doesn't know you mean "country" when you write "county."

    Packing Up

    It's time to step away from the Macbook and step up the packing. Wyatt pointed out yesterday we're moving in 16 days.

    Rather than shut down the blog completely, I'll be sifting through my drafts folder for odds and ends, half-finished posts and renegade photos, to post in Posterous-type messages.

    It's such a kick to write Poultry & Prose. I'm especially gratified that more and more readers are curious about what goes on in this little corner of the world. Thank you for carving a moment out of your day to visit.

    And now, I have a date with a box cutter and duct tape.

    Flickr Photo: libbie

    Towering Trees and Rolling Oaks

    When I walk down Shady Pine Road, sometimes the passing trees remind me of  a Hanna-Barbera cartoon background. They go on and on and on.

    And sometimes they're the cathedral in which I worship. 

     We lost several trees to storms last week. 

    And we've lost a few more to developers. No wonder subdivisions and developments have street names like "Rolling Oaks." The oaks are rolling because earth movers roll them out of the way.

    There's a Free Softserve
    with Your Dog's Name on It

    Tonight is Dogs' Night Out at Blast Softserve in Owatonna, Minnesota. If you live in southeast Minnesota, are in the mood for a road trip, or if you have a hankering to visit the hometown of Owl City, stop on by The Blast with your leashed dog from 5:30 to 6. Soft serve servings are doggy sized so as not to disrupt delicate digestive systems. The event is sponsored by the Owatonna People's Press.

    Directions to The Blast are here
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