No Gold Bullion in This Basement, Jim

The afterglow from the buzz of getting health insurance hadn't even worn off yet. The next thing I knew: I had to fill out a survey of our family's means after six months of our son receiving health insurance through Medical Assistance.

Republicans believe that anyone on public assistance is abusing it: spending food support dollars at liquor stores, unemployment dollars for drugs, or riches squirreled away in order to get healthcare. In 2010 Minnesota State Representative Jim Abeler made this observation about people who would qualify for the Medical Assistance (MA) provision:

“I want to remind you who is going to get into this program. And this follows a national plan that was adopted this year with great duress at the federal level. And there is no asset limit. And there is no residency requirement. And so that means the person moves in with a whole basement full of gold bullion or a nice boat or a car and they’re going to get medical assistance and you’re going to pay half of it."

The video from The UpTake is below, which includes a response from DFL Representative Paul Thissen:



"We don't have gold bullion. We don't even have chicken bouillon," said my husband Mike.

This 2010 video is relevant today because Representative Abeler chairs the House Health and Human Services Finance Committee. I am grateful for the health coverage our family is receiving. But I'd also like to point out to Representative Abeler: People who for whatever reason depend on medical support aren't doing it because it's fun. They're not living it up. They're not hiding investments in an offshore root cellar. And they want to be off medical support as soon as possible.

Related Posts
Hot Damn. I Have Health Insurance.
Moments Like These Are What The UpTake Does Best
Living on the Economic Edge

What Does Being "Responsible" Mean?

I hate the word “responsible.”

Not because I consider myself an irresponsible person.

But because the word “responsible” is unclear and subjective, without a universal definition.

In a recent weekly address, President Obama used the word "responsible" nine times. Here’s an excerpt from the transcript, provided by The UpTake: (boldface mine)

Right now, there are more than 10 million homeowners in this country who, because of a decline in home prices that is no fault of their own, owe more on their mortgages than their homes are worth. Now, it is wrong for anyone to suggest that the only option for struggling, responsible homeowners is to sit and wait for the housing market to hit bottom. I don’t accept that. None of us should.

That’s why we launched a plan a couple years ago that’s helped nearly one million responsible homeowners refinance their mortgages and save an average of $300 on their payments each month. Now, I’ll be the first to admit it didn’t help as many folks as we’d hoped. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t keep trying.

That’s why I’m sending Congress a plan that will give every responsible homeowner the chance to save about $3,000 a year on their mortgages by refinancing at historically low rates. No more red tape. No more endless forms. And a small fee on the largest financial institutions will make sure it doesn’t add a dime to the deficit.

Homeowners are considered irresponsible for refinancing in order to pay off credit card debt. But is it irresponsible when the accumulated debt is to pay for an urgent care visit? A new well pump when the old one gives out? New brakes for the truck?

For many people, the conversation will end right here with the admonishment, “Well, you should have had savings. You should have planned in advance.”

The Star Tribune has a story about a south Minneapolis couple who opened their 875 square-foot house to a succession of relatives who faced job loss, divorce, untenable student debt. The article mentioned conflicts over relatives who drank beer, tenants who were grateful because they were able to have a roof over their heads for their family and dog and cat.

I can just hear the commenters. “If they didn’t drink beer, if they got rid of the dog and cat, they wouldn’t be in that situation.”

Life isn’t always pretty. The solutions to problems aren’t always tidy and the people who need help aren’t always perfect. How much effort, how many blue-ribbon task forces, and how much money will it take to parse out responsible homeowners from irresponsible homeowners? 

Moments Like These Are What The UpTake Does Best

Livestream video is the process of turning on a video camera, whether operated onsite or offsite, and letting it run, run, run to capture live events as they happen in a stream-of-consciousness way.

Watching, or monitoring, livestream footage has been compared to watching paint dry. But every now and then you come across a moment that’s comparable to someone throwing a pot of spaghetti sauce against that freshly painted wall.

Moments like this.

The UpTake captured this exchange between Minnesota State Representatives Sarah Anderson and Jim Davnie, capturing a geography flub by the head of state redistricting. And the moment has been picked up from progressive blog to progressive blog ever since. 

As an UpTake legislative monitor, you watch (or monitor) livestreamed video so you can tweet a narrative to Twitter followers. When a key moment like the one above occurs, you alert the producers so they can get the video out. 

If you don’t have time to monitor hours of livestreamed video, see the highlights by following @uptakemn. Informed voters count on their coverage, and The UpTake counts on donor support. 


A $25 donation will buy The UpTake almost five hours of tape. And who knows how many spaghetti-sauce-against-the-wall moments will occur in those five hours? 

Yet Another Reason Why Voter ID Is a Bad Idea

Blogger Aaron Klemz does a thorough job listing the concerns, or what Republican State Senator Scott Newman considered “red herrings,” about Voter ID.

But let’s say, for the sake of argument, Voter ID is needed. Voter fraud is rampant, felons are swinging elections, and sticking on Constitutional amendments like so many Post-it notes is a good thing.

How many of us look like our photos on our ID?

• Speaking for myself, my weight goes up and my weight goes down. I wear my hair long and I wear my hair short. What if I, or any other voter for that matter, don’t look identical to the photo on the ID?
• What if the person who verifies voters against their IDs is a person who believes “They all look alike” about population X, Y or Z? How will that person recognize if the voter isn’t the person on the ID?
• What will the legal ramifications be if someone who has legitimate voter ID is denied the opportunity to vote? 

I imagine the response to my photo question would be, anyone who is that undisciplined and erratic shouldn’t be allowed to vote.

It could be the next step, folks.

Follow @aaronklemz and @uptakemn for coverage
of the Minnesota State Legislature.

Living on the Economic Edge

If you're a person who attempted to write a book in the pre-computer era, you'll know what I mean.

Did you ever have a book chapter that languished in your desk drawer, a chapter that you just didn’t know what to do with?

Change “desk drawer” to “draft folder” and “chapter” to “blog” and you’re describing my current dilemma.

I’ve had the beginnings of a blog on my dashboard called Food Stamp Confidential: An Exposé of Life on the Economic Edge. It’s a place where I’ve lived, especially in the last few months. Not too many people are willing to talk about financial stress because of the belief it’s their own fault: they didn’t work hard enough, weren’t smart enough. Because people don’t talk about financial hardship, it’s not big on the collective radar. And when it is, it’s something that happens to some other group of people. Not to people like you and me.

The Middle Sixty Percent
My husband Mike and I have joked that we’ve always lived as if a recession were going on, even in the 1990s. Dan Williams, program director of Lutheran Social Service of Minnesota Financial Counseling, calls this population “the middle sixty percent.” Working families making from $15,000 to $70,000 a year, just getting by when the economy was thriving, and hit hard when the economy nosedived. Over the years our family has experienced a steady drip-drip-drip of increasing property taxes, health insurance premiums, fuel prices. A dry well here and a job loss there and the drip-drip-drip turned into the perfect storm.

I chose the blog title Food Stamp Confidential because I liked the tawdry feel of it, calling to mind a 1950s tabloid. The title isn't literally true in my case because I'm not on food stamps. (I've applied but didn't qualify.) The term "food stamps" is a metaphor for poverty and need, difficult things to write about. My drafts folder is filled with posts that remain unpublished because they convey a moroseness I don't feel.

I don’t feel poor or in need, nor do I define myself by the prefix un- or the suffix –less. I do define myself as a survivor. Like when Scarlett O’Hara strode into a post Civil–War era wearing green velvet finery that in its previous life was a set of draperies.

Living on the edge means feeling flush one day and doing a Dukes of Hazzard–type bank run the next. The bumps in the road jolt you harder but the joys feel sweeter—and there are joys. Finding a $20 bill in a purse you haven't used in months. A mechanic who devises a just-as-good Plan B that results in a cheaper repair bill. (You reciprocate, of course, with cookies.) A customer service representative who says, "I'll work with you.'"


Treading Water
What finally tipped our family over the economic edge was $4-a-gallon gas in 2008. Treading water for over two years takes a lot out of you. So does not talking about it. And now that gas is once again headed for $4 a gallon, I suspect more households will be in the same situation. Feeling isolated, wondering what they did wrong. Reading this story and realizing, “Hey, it’s not just me.” Knowing that in economic uncertainty there is company. Plenty of it.


In June 2010, U.S. Senator Al Franken held a Wall Street reform field hearing in Minneapolis. Individuals including a small business owner and a self-employed contractor testified on how the recession affected them. The UpTake livestreamed the hearing. Dan Williams of Lutheran Social Service was at the hearing, and his testimony is from 7:15 to 11:32. Watch the video here. 

Earnie Believed in Overcoming, Not Ignoring

Earnie Larsen died last month. A prolific author, he was known by people in recovery for the books he wrote about recovering from alcohol and other drugs. Larsen wrote a series of programs called the Life Skills Series for Inmates and Parolees. The programs helped inmates end the cycle of violence by recognizing the effects previous traumas had on them—and not passing those harmful behaviors onto others. Larsen didn’t ignore uncomfortable topics like childhood abuse nor did he excuse them. But he offered ways to overcome their legacy.

Earnie Larsen's books weren't always popular in a lock-'em-up-and-throw-away-the-key society. But the popular way isn't always the right way. As he explained in the program Beyond Anger:

“Over the years, I have received many letters from inmates telling me they have taken some saying or sentence from one of my books or videos and placed it somewhere in the cell or pod. They said it was a daily reminder for them on this new road they were trying to travel.”

But treatment doesn’t work in Tim Pawlenty’s world.

Living near the city of Moose Lake, which houses one of Minnesota's sex offender treatment facilities, and having written extensively about Earnie Larsen's books, I am drawn to this issue on more than one level. It’s somehow fitting that the passing of Larsen, and a state report that casts doubt on the effectiveness of sex offender treatment, have intersected.





I also write occasionally for The UpTake. The views expressed here are my views.

It’s a Wonderful Life with MinnPost

If you’re one of the handful of people who hasn’t seen the Frank Capra classic, I’m going to talk about the movie’s ending – so don’t read any further.
But if you read MinnPost, think of how it has enriched your life.
My passion is politics. As a writer/legislative monitor for The UpTake, I relied on MinnPost as a Cliffs Notes of sorts to Minnesota politics, an instant civics lesson that filled in the cracks of what I was supposed to know but didn't.
MinnPost is a one-stop shop of all things Minnesotan: business, arts, sports, health and science, community voices. Think of it as the Ralph's Pretty Good Grocery of Minnesota news: if MinnPost doesn't have it, you probably don't need it.
If you enjoy blogs, you’ll find the best in the state in MinnPost’s Blog Cabin Program—the fact that I’m there still makes me shake my head in amazement.
For readers of serious, high-quality journalism, MinnPost makes it a wonderful life.
And like George Bailey, MinnPost needs help. Their wish is for $30,000 by December 22. Your contribution is also your opportunity to say what you wish to see in MinnPost in 2011. If your comment is among the most clever and incisive, MinnPost will publish it.
So this is the point when we virtual neighbors come together to collect a wicker laundry basket overflowing with money, as did the residents of Bedford Falls.
Whether you can afford to wire a blank check as did tycoon Sam Wainright, bust open the jukebox as did bartender Martini, or part with $17.50 as kind and frugal Miss Davis might, it’s all good. All appreciated. And all for a wonderful cause.
Thank you. And hee-haw!





It's a Wonderful Life photo credits: Visitottawakansas.com

The 12 Days of Recount: Complete!

Twelve days ago I started goofing around with the lyrics to The Twelve Days of Christmas, rewritten for each day of the 2010 Minnesota election recount. The actual recount of ballots ended on December 4, but having gotten the lyrical ball rolling, I couldn't stop it. The song was popular on my Facebook page so I thought I'd share the completed version here.

On the 12th day of recount my true love gave to me,

12 batons a-passing, 

11 Dems a-cheering,

10 pols conceding,

9 bloggers scooping,

8 pundits spinning,

7 lawyers grousing,

6 judges ruling,

FIIIIIVE OVALS FILLLLED...

4 calls at table,

3 stray marks,

2 overvotes

& a challenge made fri-vo-lous-ly.

What to say for the twelfth day required serious mulling over, but the answer came from the title of this video by Craig Stellmacher for The UpTake. 

Remember the Titans, Minnesota Style

This weekend I watched one of my favorite movies, Remember The Titans. In this true story that happened in the 1970s, Denzel Washington stars as Herman Boone, who is appointed to coach a Virginia high school football team that has been newly integrated. Distrust, dislike, and discord are rampant. Boone steps in to create a winning team.

In that context, I'm hopeful after reading this Pioneer Press article about Minnesota House Speaker-elect Kurt Zellers. (h/t  Kevin Watterson.) Author Bill Salisbury describes the four-term state Republican as "one of the most affable and best-liked pols at the Capitol," a college football player with promise until an ankle injury changed his life course.

Zellers will be stepping into an environment similar to what Herman Boone faced. As a former football player, he knows what a team is capable of when it works together. I'm hoping Remember the Titans is one of Zellers' favorite movies, too.



These opinions are mine and do not represent The UpTake, for whom I am a contributing writer.

An “Attaboy, Girl” for the Pine County Auditor

There hasn’t always been love between the northern and southern halves of Pine County. The northern half is less affluent and considered by some to be unsavory. The county seat of Pine City is in the southern half of the county. There was a contentious election in 2000 to officially divide the county in two, a motion that failed. More recently there was a battle over where to build the new courthouse: keep it in Pine City, or build it further north in Hinckley, geographically closer to the center of the county. The courthouse was built in northern Pine City.

Even within the northern half of Pine County, communities are balkanized by school districts, newspaper coverage, and plain old geography. So it’s challenging to get everyone on the same page. But north and south unite to close ranks around our own when attacked by someone from the outside.

As first reported by the Star Tribune, Pine County was one of two counties named in a lawsuit by the Republican Party of Minnesota and the Tom Emmer for Governor campaign. Their charges: “unacceptable foot dragging” in responding to data practice requests. The story has also appeared in the Duluth News Tribune and MinnPost, and  snarked on in blogs.

According to those news sources the atmosphere is "calming down," in the words of Republican attorney Tony Trimble. Pine County Auditor Cathy Clemmer's words were pitch-perfect Minnesota understatement, "I don't think they handled it as well as they could have. It would have been much simpler to pick up the phone and say, 'Gee whiz, we haven't heard from you. Did you get our e-mail?' Instead of going directly to a lawsuit."

What struck me about the threatened lawsuit was the economic inequity of it. The suit on behalf of the Minnesota Republican Party and the Emmer for Governor campaign was filed in Hennepin County. Tom Emmer is from Wright County. The counties named in the suit were St. Louis County and Pine County. According to Wikipedia, the median household incomes for each county are as follows:

Hennepin County   $51,711
Wright County       $53,945
St. Louis County    $36,306
Pine County           $37,379

I point this out to show that not all counties have the resources to respond immediately. Expecting counties to ask “How high?” when wealthier counties tell them to jump is unrealistic, and to my way of thinking, a form of municipal bullying. (Power imbalance is a key component of bullying as defined by Dan Olweus, an internationally renowned researcher on the subject of bullying prevention.)

My first experience with Pine County election officials was during the U.S. Senate recount in 2008. Many smaller communities in northern Pine County vote by mail-in ballot (which is different from absentee) to save money. I was afraid my husband Mike’s ballot was one of the contested ballots in the Franken-Coleman recount. As the witness, I had signed on the wrong line on the outer envelope. After months of fretting I called the Pine County Courthouse and spoke with a woman named Terri. She looked up the information quickly and let us know that Mike’s vote was indeed counted. Failing to sign would have discounted the vote, she explained. Signing on the wrong line did not. I was amazed at how cheerful she was, considering she had probably fielded calls from numerous anxious voters.

I spoke briefly with Terri last week. She declined to speak about the lawsuit and explained she was on deadline, making copies of the materials requested in the suit. "Can you hear me?," she asked, cheerful as ever, referring to the background beeps. “I’m scanning as we speak.”

Too far north to be metro and too far south to be Iron Range, Pine County doesn’t make statewide news unless it’s bad news: vacation cabins torched, bears poached, lawsuits threatened. It took a government employee to put us in the headlines for a good reason. Despite our history of secessionistic threats and long-standing resentments, northern and southern Pine County residents unite behind County Auditor Cathy Clemmer with a big “Attaboy, Girl.”

These opinions are mine and do not represent The UpTake, for whom I am a contributing writer.

Related Posts:
Government Employees Deserve Love, Too
The Few. The Proud. The Transcribers.

Government Employees Deserve Love, Too

Government employees don’t get much love these days. During Minnesota’s Gubernatorial debates, Republican candidate Tom Emmer often described government in terms of “excess and bloat,” words that call to mind acid reflux disease.

County government employees in particular don’t get much love. As a reader of news, I find county stories lacking the high profile of state political news and the gut-check immediacy of local news. For me, county government is a gray and oblique area. Plus, county e-mail addresses have too many periods.

The UpTake has been down the recount road before, and I'm helping out in case it happens again. For my part I have contacted 25 counties, some of which I had never heard of before. I enter the canvass totals, or official vote counts, into a spreadsheet. Counties with official totals identical to unofficial totals are highlighted in robin’s-egg blue. As county after county totaled up, a horizon of robin’s-egg blue expanded.

In a recent news conference about the likelihood of a recount, Tom Emmer used the word “process” 44 times. For many people, the word “process” is a talisman, something sacred to be revered. It was awesome to see the expanding blue horizon confirm a transparent election process. I don’t mean Valley Girl awesome but “awesome” in the word’s original intent, inspiring respect and wonder.

Like anyone who voted in this election, I have a preferred candidate. But if that robin’s-egg blue horizon revealed another candidate taking office, I would be at peace knowing that the system worked. Similarly, I couldn’t live with myself if I helped to rig an election so my candidate would win. I imagine county officials who are entrusted with ballots feel the same way. To rig an election would mean your professional life, which many people equate with their personal life, is a sham.

It’s not easy to do good work when people denigrate and disregard what you do. Especially when you do a job that’s not visible, a job that at any moment could be deemed excessive and redundant. To do a flawless job under those conditions is pretty awesome.



The opinions written here are mine and are not intended to represent The UpTake. 

The Few. The Proud. The Transcribers.

One hundred typists at one hundred computers might just possibly create the Great American Debate Archive.

I'm one of those typists. I've been helping out at The UpTake, watching tapes of the Minnesota Gubernatorial debates and typing text documents of what is said.

Typing, typing, typing isn't sexy work. But it’s important work.

Transcripts enable videos to be closed captioned on YouTube and on theuptake.org. In the case of the Gubernatorial debates, closed captioning opens them up to an audience which previously didn't have access, says Mike McIntee, Executive Producer of The UpTake. 

According to the Commission of Deaf, DeafBlind, and Hard of Hearing Minnesotans, hearing loss is believed to affect five to ten percent of Minnesota voters. The number of eligible voters in Minnesota is 3.72 million, according to Dr. Michael McDonald of George Mason University. Even when you take into account unregistered voters and non-participating voters, five to ten percent represents a lot of votes.

If you rely on closed captioning, you know that auto-generated captions leave a lot to be desired. Text is missing. Spelling is butchered. The meaning of what is said can change dramatically.

Here's an example from GameFair, where the Gubernatorial candidates debated before an audience of hunting and fishing enthusiasts. 

What was said: Tom Meersman did a fine story about shoreline development in the Brainerd Lakes area.

What was decoded: time is needed to find story about showing a bomb in the brain or lakes area

What was said: Isn't a walleye meal a Minnesota tradition?

What was decoded: he's in the limelight New York minute set of traditional

The Legacy Amendment became the latest CNN. The Castle Doctrine became the Catholic Doctrine. Dog parks became thought parks.

It can be hard enough to make decisions when you hear everything clearly. Try making decisions based on garbled content. 

Increased voter access can make a huge difference. The U.S. Senate recount in 2008 took eight months to complete. Al Franken won by a margin of 312 votes. The UpTake livestreamed and live-blogged the entire recount and trial. 

So how about it? Join the few, the proud, the transcribers. All you need is a computer with an Internet connection and the movie viewer Quicktime, which is a free download. To get started, email info@theuptake.org. Grab some of your friends and plow through a debate together as you chuckle over the auto-generated transcript. You'll feel proud when you see your finished result. I guarantee it.

Note: Thank you to MinnPost for publishing this post in their Minnesota Blog Cabin Program. 

Composting and computing

There's something about being away from the computer that makes ideas come to the computer.

When I'm cleaning out the barn, for example. I put on my barn boots, pull on my gloves, gather up my implements: rake, pitchfork, shovel. 

Within five minutes I've put the implements aside. I'm going back up to the house, taking off the boots, pulling off the gloves, scouring my hands, and firing up the computer to capture an idea before it's gone.

It's like a moment from the TV sitcom The Big Bang Theory. Sheldon, an eccentric physics professor and a character I identify with more than I care to admit, was able to figure out a complicated problem by working on the waitstaff of The Cheesecake Factory.

I've added a new function to my volunteer service at The UpTake, transcribing gubernatorial campaign debates. It's plodding, methodical, unsexy, but necessary work, much like cleaning out the barn. Sometimes slinging muck and political debates are one and the same. Both activities enhance each other. Both offer value.

Transcribing debates sharpens your listening skills and political awareness. The downside, you tend to feel like a pod person at the computer. Cleaning out the barn, well, the downside is obvious. But the value: your skin is browned and your muscles work and you get a tangible, visible sense of accomplishment. And no one ever needed their partner to rub Tiger Balm on their shoulders after a hard day at the computer.

When does your creative muse appear? Share your story in a comment.

 

Are you neutral on Net Neutrality?

Today's FCC vote on Net Neutrality prompted me to revisit this post, originally published in August 2010. Thank you to Shoq Value (@shoq) for retweeting it. I'll be doing the same, undoubtedly, once I dig into your blog. 

 

There’s been a lot of talk about Net Neutrality, and a lot of people who don’t know what it is. Including, until recently, me.

Net Neutrality means equal access to all users of the Internet, whether the user is a high-school student in an inner-city library or a CEO of a huge corporation. Abolishing Net Neutrality would mean that communications corporations could charge users more for heavy Internet traffic or if they want extra services.

What’s the big deal, you say? Don’t we do that already with ground mail delivery and overnight air delivery? Basic cable and premium cable?

Yes, we are. Then ask yourself this. Is the value of your premium cable package worth the extra dollars you pay for it? Has the quality of your basic cable package gone down while the price has gone up?

Here’s another way to look at it. When you’re stuck in traffic, what would be the better overall solution: Let drivers pay extra to drive solo in the carpool lane? Or improve road and transportation service so we can all get there on time?

Does the price of first-class air travel keep you stuck flying coach? Abolishing Net Neutrality means those Internet users who pay extra get first-class fare, the rest get a bag of peanuts.

Or maybe you can’t afford to board the plane in the first place. Many people in underserved areas have no access at all. Equalizing Internet access accomplishes what few issues are able to do: unite inner city and rural outpost.

We'll all be left standing at the gate if Net Neutrality is abolished.

 Here’s a good description of what Net Neutrality is and why it matters. If you missed the FCC vote on Net Neutrality, The UpTake has it on replay. 

Election electricity

In the midst of a thunderstorm, I was live blogging primary election returns from a 3.2 beer joint in downtown Duquette, Minnesota. 

I have officially crossed the threshhold from political recreational user to political junkie. 

Yesterday's Gubernatorial primary saw flash floods, submerged vehicles, lightning strikes, and power outages throughout the state. For once, east central Minnesota was in the safe zone. But as evening approached the lightning rolled in. My husband Mike pulled the plug on the modem.

My fingers twitched. My heart raced. 

"You know, they have wi-fi at the Duquette Bar," Mike joked, knowing my aversion to bars.

I was already packing up my laptop for the two-mile drive to Duquette. On the way a lightning strike turned the sky yellow. 

The lightning was only half the story. While Republican Tom Emmer and Independence Party candidate Tom Horner cruised to victory, the Democratic-Farmer-Labor race was a slow-moving storm of its own. At one point former U.S. Senator Mark Dayton trailed State House Speaker Margaret Anderson Kelliher by some 18,000 votes. As the night progressed Dayton whittled away the lead. Moods changed from jubilant to jittery, wondering if yet another election would end in a recount.

I came back from Duquette, pumped and primed to live-tweet a verdict. Then the inevitable happened. No phone or Internet connection. I huddled in a wing-back chair and listened to the radio, marking off returns on a notepad. A Kelliher lead of 1,782, then 1,350, then 425, then 60. Then a Dayton lead of 300.  

This morning, with 98% of precincts reporting, Dayton leads by 5,000-some votes, according to Rachel E. Stassen-Berger of the Star-Tribune. Kelliher is expected to issue a statement this afternoon. Here at home, still no phone or Internet service. 

For some reason, Mike decided to check the splitter, a plastic box that divides a telephone signal into separate signals for telephone and DSL. For some other reason, he had a spare on hand. He replaced the old splitter with the new one. 

Just like that. Phone and Internet service restored. Major modem damage had been averted by a five-dollar piece of plastic and wire.

So, a round of thanks go to The Tavern in Duquette, Mike the Reluctant IT Person, the intrepid staff of The UpTake, to all candidates for running, and to all voters for voting. Lightning, it appears, won't strike twice in Minnesota.

UPDATE: Margaret Anderson Kelliher just congratulated Mark Dayton on winning the DFL primary. She will give a statement to the press at 3 p.m.